Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
