How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize