physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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