I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
