Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
