I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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