apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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