The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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