your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
What did we do last night that was yellow?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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