TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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