I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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