you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
