i think i have herpe
just one?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
