1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize