i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
