yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
