You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
it's great music for shaving your balls
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
