dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
