y did u give ur computer a hand job?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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