I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
