I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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