my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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