I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
