Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
