she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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