you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize