I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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