her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
