I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
