I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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