Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
