He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
