Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
