the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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