After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
There's always time for handjobs
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
