Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize