so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
