"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
