So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
