I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
