Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
