Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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