Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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