Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
