you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
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That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am naked and annoyed.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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