I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
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Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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