I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
