Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
