I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
