all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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