Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We are all done wearing pants today
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
