i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
True strength comes from lack of pants
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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