it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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