So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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