i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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