it wasn't lemon gatorade
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
