So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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