Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
