I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
