I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
