my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
