tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
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I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
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I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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