I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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