In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Can Purell be used as lube?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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